Ah, Thanksgiving—the holiday of good food, better naps, and questionable conversations. You’re excited about the mashed potatoes, maybe even a little hyped for the pie, but as soon as Uncle Bob gets that gleam in his eye, you know what’s coming: questions. Nosy ones. Personal ones. The kind that make you want to crawl under the table and make your escape out the back door. This year, though, you’re prepared! Here’s how to handle your inquisitive relatives with the finesse of a Thanksgiving pro.
1. The “What’s Next for You?” Question
Classic. The beloved vague inquiry into your future, often implying that whatever you’re doing currently is neither impressive nor acceptable. Aunt Doris has barely chewed her cranberry sauce before she’s hitting you with, “So, what’s next for you?” This line has been around longer than pumpkin pie, and like pie, it’s never going away.
Thanksgiving Pro Tip: Answer with purposefully vague positivity. Try, “You know, I’m really excited about what’s coming next!” Then stare dreamily off into the distance, as if life itself is just brimming with mystery and potential. They’ll be so busy trying to figure out what you mean, they’ll forget to ask you to explain.
2. The Relationship Status Inquisition
“Are you seeing anyone special?” they ask, piling gravy onto their plate with a look that says, It’s okay, we’ve got time; go ahead and spill. This question is particularly tricky for anyone who’s single, dating, divorced, or just wants some peace, thank you very much.
Thanksgiving Pro Tip: The “Secret Spy” approach. Respond with a serious, “You know I’m not at liberty to say.” If they press for details, glance around like you’re checking for eavesdroppers. Just lean in and say, “All I can tell you is… we’re not calling it a relationship, per se. But let’s just say… it’s happening.” Nothing sends relatives into a whirl of delight and confusion like the hint of secrecy.
3. The Job Interrogation
Few things confuse certain relatives like someone not fitting into a traditional 9-to-5 role. Cue the “So, are you still doing that thing with the computer…?” Or perhaps the “When are you planning on getting a real job?” This is a sensitive area for anyone working in non-traditional fields—or just plain tired of explaining.
Thanksgiving Pro Tip: Go big. Turn your job into the most exciting, mysterious venture they’ve ever heard of. If you’re an Etsy shop owner, you’re a Curator of Artisanal Goods with an International Client Base. Freelance graphic designer? Try Visual Branding Specialist for Emerging Brands. Watch as they nod along, suitably impressed and completely overwhelmed.
4. The Health and Body Commentary
“Oh, you look… healthy!” they say, often with that unfortunate up-and-down scan. They’re waiting for you to fill in the blanks here with whatever diet, cleanse, or wellness routine they think you’re on.
Thanksgiving Pro Tip: Hit them with the Ostrich Diet. Say, “I actually just started the Ostrich Diet—there’s nothing quite like it.” When they inevitably ask what it entails, give a meaningful pause before replying, “It’s intense, but I’ve learned a lot about myself.” Refuse to elaborate. They’ll be left scratching their heads all the way through dessert.
5. The Financial Situation Discussion
They ease into it subtly, but by dessert, someone’s asking, “So, are you thinking about buying a house anytime soon?” Or, “How are you really doing?”—with an intense look that says they’ve been monitoring Zillow prices on your behalf. It’s all about your financial situation.
Thanksgiving Pro Tip: Throw them a curveball by saying, “I’m looking into time-shares in Antarctica. The penguins are wonderful neighbors.” It’s completely nonsense, but it’s the kind of nonsense that shuts down questions fast. Plus, who doesn’t love picturing themselves with a penguin pal or two?
6. The Political Question (Oh, Boy)
Brace yourself. You’re innocently nibbling a roll when someone decides to share their opinion. This is usually kicked off with, “Well, I’m just saying…” or “Don’t you think it’s crazy that…?” And if you’re wise, you know a debate is the last thing you want to go home with.
Thanksgiving Pro Tip: Become Switzerland. Offer neutral statements like, “There’s definitely a lot going on in the world.” Nod, smile, and when possible, change the subject by asking, “Hey, did you hear they’re releasing a new pumpkin spice flavor?” This is likely to get even the most politically charged relative talking about seasonal lattes in no time.
7. The Rebellious Deflection: The Question Game
Sometimes, the best way to handle nosy relatives is to give them a taste of their own medicine. This involves you becoming the interrogator.
Thanksgiving Pro Tip: Whenever you’re cornered, just bounce the question right back at them with a twist. If they ask, “So, when are you planning on settling down?” you reply with, “You know, that’s interesting! When did you know you were ready?” Often, they’ll be so busy talking about themselves, they’ll forget they ever asked.
Final Thoughts: Thankfulness Is Key
Remember, as tough as the questions may get, your nosy relatives are (hopefully) just curious and mean well, even if their methods could use some fine-tuning. When the going gets tough, take a deep breath, fill your plate with seconds, and remind yourself of all the things you’re grateful for—including the fact that you only have to see these lovely people once a year.
With these tricks in your back pocket, you’ll be dodging nosy questions like a Thanksgiving pro and enjoying the feast in (relative) peace. Happy Thanksgiving!
