Imagine: you’re walking down the street, peeking at the neon signs and graffiti murals in New York’s East Village, stomach growling, mind wondering if it’s truly possible to survive a night out in this city without losing your shirt or your dignity. You end up at Crif Dogs, a local dive famed for greasy, gloriously sinful hot dogs. But tonight isn’t just about a Coney Island fix. Oh no, you’re here for a clandestine experience, one that takes you back to the Prohibition days… if you can find it.
It begins with a phone booth. You heard me—a genuine, red vintage phone booth that seems plucked right out of a detective movie. This one’s not just for decoration. Slide into the booth, close the door, pick up the phone, and… voilà, you’re speaking to the host at Please Don’t Tell, the legendary speakeasy bar that’s one-part time machine, one-part portal to cocktail paradise.
Once inside, it’s like you’ve walked into another world. PDT is dimly lit, intimate, and inviting, the kind of place that makes you feel like you’re part of a secret society. The room is lined with leather banquettes, and the bar itself gleams with polished bottles and bartenders who shake, stir, and muddle their way into mixology history. The vibe is unmistakably cool but without trying too hard—a difficult feat in a city that basically invented “cool.”
Let’s get to the drinks because that’s why we’re here, isn’t it? PDT’s cocktail menu is nothing short of impressive. Think of it as an artisanal playground for grown-ups: every drink has a story, a purpose, and a whole lot of booze. Start with the Benton’s Old Fashioned, a cocktail that elevates whiskey to a level your taste buds didn’t know existed. This masterpiece features bacon-infused bourbon, maple syrup, and bitters, bringing you a smoky-sweet flavor explosion. It’s like breakfast in a glass, minus the lecture from your cardiologist.
Or try the Mezcal Mule, which is equal parts zesty, smoky, and refreshing. It arrives in a copper cup, icy cold and glistening. One sip, and you’re transported to a mezcal wonderland where the hint of lime and ginger offers a smooth balance to the smoky bite. Each cocktail is hand-crafted, so don’t expect a speed service—but hey, this is a place where patience is rewarded with pure deliciousness.
Not to be outdone, the food is just as intriguing as the drinks. Because PDT is accessed through Crif Dogs, you can order a hot dog without having to face the outside world. Order “The Good Morning,” a hot dog topped with cheese, bacon, and a fried egg—a combination so good you’ll wonder why it’s not on the breakfast menu everywhere. Or go for the “Chang Dog,” a culinary mash-up topped with kimchi and inspired by chef David Chang. It’s spicy, tangy, and undeniably addictive, the kind of late-night food that makes you swear allegiance to the speakeasy lifestyle.
Now, no review of PDT would be complete without mentioning the crowd. PDT’s clientele are a mix of locals, cocktail aficionados, and the occasional tourist who’s done their research. It’s an eclectic mix, united by a love of cocktails and the thrill of exclusivity. Conversations drift from neighborhood gossip to lofty theories about artisanal bitters and the best whiskey distilleries in Scotland. Eavesdrop, and you’ll learn more about the art of mixology than you ever thought possible.
In short, if you’re looking for an experience that feels like you’ve discovered a well-kept secret, Please Don’t Tell is your place. It’s unpretentious yet glamorous, indulgent but relaxed. Yes, you’ll spend a little more than you planned, but isn’t that the essence of a true New York night out? So, slide into the booth, pick up the phone, and prepare to have your expectations exceeded—just, please, don’t tell.
Please Don’t Tell (PDT)
113 St Marks Pl, New York, NY 10009
Phone: (212) 614-0386
To access PDT, enter through the phone booth inside Crif Dogs at this location. Enjoy!
